Furiously Happy: a lesson about how we are all a bit fucked up but it is all good

 A few weeks ago, I was in an Oxfam charity shop (we have TONS of charity shops in the UK, which makes it incredibly easy to give time and money to good causes!) and I found this book with this ecstatic raccoon on the cover.

I decided to buy it, just because of that weird raccoon that claimed to be furiously happy, and that was probably life sending me a sign. 

 

Let’s talk about the author. Her name is Jenny Lawson and she is an American writer and blogger. She published her first book (Let’s Pretend This Never Happened) in 2012 and, just a few weeks later, it was the number one New York Times bestseller. She also runs www.thebloggess.com

That woman is different because she gave a voice to all people suffering from mental illness, which goes from anxiety to OCD, from low mood to phobias. And she did it by talking about her battles, her victories, her daily life and struggles. And she is funny, which makes it less dramatic I guess but no less serious.

I think we all have problems and those problems sometime lead us to slip into a big hole: a dark place that professionals will call “mental illness”. Three years ago, I had no idea what a panic attack was. Today, I know way too well what they are and I am fighting them with all of my might. Life threw lemons at me and, though my eyes are hurting from the acid juices, I am learning to make lemonade out of it.

What resonated in me the most was the bit where Jenny Lawson says that we are all trying to master living life but no one really knows what they are doing because we were not sent any manual or instructions. We envy people that we see on Instagram or in magazines but that is the –fake- bright side of their existences. We don’t know what is happening backstage and the highly probable truth is that those people are struggling just as bad as we are.

This book made me less ashamed of my panic attacks. Because loads of people have it, some have even other troubles on top and we are all trying our best at living life. I feel like embracing my weird and quirky side and keeping in mind that my battles, my scars, my life story make me who I am. And you know what they say about life, right? No one makes it out alive!

September Hiatus…

 Hello, friends, readers, world,

As you may have noticed, I haven’t written since August. Quite a lot has happened: excellent and grand things and shitty, depressing, daddy-come-and-get-me-out-of-here stuff.

I will start with the less good things and finish on a high note with all the positive.

I started working as a dog walker. I know, it is billion miles away from media and digital but it has always been a possible career choice in a corner of my mind and so, I just went and tried it. It went wrong. Not on the dog side of the job: walking the doggies, having the cuddles and even scooping the poos was amazing! What went wrong is that I was lied to about what I would be doing in this very small company. I was only working with my boss who was…erm…quite a character? A bit special? A psycho? Blog material! Yes, she is “blog material”. Anyway, I miss the dogs and will always cherish the time I have spent with that little pack of furry babies, but it was an experiment. I have tried it and it simply did not work out. No regrets!

That means I am back on the job market! Which is exciting and terrifying. I have also applied for a job at my DREAM company. I didn’t get it and it is frustrating and sad but I am in touch with them, they know me and, eventually, I will be a member of their team!

I have had job interviews – encouraging, as it means my CV is somewhat sexy! – and, no matter how well you can prepare yourself, I feel it will be awkward and weird. So, there is no need to stress out, really, just roll with the flow…

Moving on to GOOD, AMAZIND and POSITIVE events!

I went home for a few days! I love going home, seeing my parents, talking makeup with my mum (who’s quite new to the concept of taking care of yourself, bless her), watching telly with my dad until the wee hours, meeting with my friends and their kids (I love those babies! I have known them their whole lives and enjoy playing with them, holding them and cuddling them!), eating all the Belgian delicatessens that I miss and running my fingers through Jax’s curls whilst he looks into my soul (he is our fancy – absolutely accidental - cross breed dog; a tasteful mix between a Chihuahua and a poodle).

I have been to the Apple Music Festival for work. I have seen Ellie Goulding (I firmly believe she should record audio books as her voice is so damn sensual) and Little mix and…One Direction! I was on the first row, holding on to my notepad, fighting to keep my spot and having a guy shouting in my ear. For. The. Whole. Concert! But, forget about this idiot, I had a blast and felt SO DAMN LUCKY as I know that many people wanted to attend and couldn’t.

I have a new hamster! Poor Augustus has been dropped in front of the vet’s practice that I used to work at. No note, no reason, he was just left there in his cage over the bank holiday weekend. So, when my ex-colleagues told me he needed a new home, I took him to mine. He’s a lovely bundle of fur and joy. I hope he is happy and feel all the love we have for him. And to the fuckers who abandoned him: Karma is a bitch and, one day or another, you will pay for this!

I am on a mission at Ogilvy & Mather! It is just for a couple of weeks but it is fascinating to work in such a big agency. I secretly hope that this will push my career into the right direction.

I have amazing friends who happen to be my flatmates. At the moment, I feel like my life is a big mess and, when it gets too much, my brain just works against me and triggers panic attacks. Those are horrible: you feel like you’re going to die, like you are losing your mind and you just cannot stop crying and gasping for air. It is scary to witness and atrocious to live. But Jen helped me get back from panic hell and she is supporting me and encouraging me. I couldn’t be more thankful to have her in my life (and in the room next to mine). Lucy is also very encouraging and does not hate me for being such a nutter. They are caring, loving and accepting, which is all I need at the moment. I am blessed with these two!

So, that is why I didn’t feel like writing: I was riding the roller coaster of life, holding on, trying not to puke and making sure that the twins were staying in my bra. I am trying to be positive and, writing down the good things helps me realise that, ok, life is not great at the moment, but it could be so much worse…