Why I feel “so-so” about Jurassic World.

Last weekend, I grabbed a non-dinosaur-fanatic friend and brought her to the cinema. I wanted to see Jurassic World and she didn’t want to leave me alone.

I am a massive dino geek. Jurassic Park is my favourite movie ever; I know every damn line in French, which makes it impossible now for anyone to watch it with me. I love dinosaurs and that is why Jurassic World got me a bit crossed.

 

I don’t want to see dinosaurs dying; I don’t want to get details about their long agony when the meteor hit the earth 65 billion years ago. I want to see them thrive, I want to hear them roar and I want to see people get eaten.

Dying Diplodocus - Jurassic World (2015)

Happy Brachiosaur - Jurassic Park (1993)

In Jurassic World, dinosaurs die. There is a scene where Owen and Claire witness the last few breaths of a majestic diplodocus. I cried. I did not like it. And it was only a start!

The storyline is very similar to Jurassic Park. Granted the dinosaurs are on an island (well, two actually) and we needed a way to bring people back there. And it was exciting to see the park open and functioning. But some bits were disturbing: baby triceratops ridden by kids, white shark fed to a mosasaur like it was a sardine thrown to a seal, our dear Rexie living in a small paddock and tamed velociraptors.

Jurassic World is a proper blockbuster: you will get even more than what you’ve paid for. But, close your eyes on the many hiccups of the story and do not bear Jurassic Park in mind. Also, the characters are more of a parody.

In Jurassic Park, the characters were amazing: Grant and Ellie facing the possible extinction of their job but also facing the question of having kids together; Malcolm is right from the start despite his rock star look; Hammond is a child seeing his dream coming true then going horribly wrong. Even Lex and Tim felt like “real people”.

In Jurassic World, we have one super sex-driven teenager, one bipolar kid, one woman running around in heels, one army-freak and one sort of Indiana Jones. No depth whatsoever!

In the end, I have enjoyed seeing dinosaurs. But I hope this is the last ever Jurassic something film. They left it open for a new instalment but please, please, please, I’m begging you: DON’T!